I’ve been blogging for three months – a trimester. The metaphor of pregnancy seems apt since during the fall not only do we harvest, but we also plant seeds, bulbs, trees to winter until their birth in spring.
Further amplifying, a encouraging comment made by Julie Daley to one of my posts in which I pondered: “Here I’ve given myself this glorious and precious gift of time and space to “move at the pace of guidance.” There are moments I feel rattled with anxiety that I won’t use this gift well. That I won’t realize the long held dreams I made and nurtured especially for this time. That I won’t return to work rested and renewed. That I won’t have sensed “what next” regarding my life’s work. That I won’t have grown in kindness, patience, acceptance, tenderness, and compassion.”
Her reply: “This time you have given yourself is pregnant with possibility. You can’t do it wrong. It is doing you.”
So today seems the perfect time to do an ultrasound of sorts…a deep exploration into what I’m sensing and knowing about my “what ifs,” “what nows,” and “what nexts.”
- I am nurtured, strengthened and made resilient by the elements, so it’s good for me to be walking outside everyday.
- Trees are my guardians.
- I’m grateful to our “kids with fur” who take me outside, bring me joy, remind me to be patient and make me laugh.
- I appreciate every day’s weather when I don’t have to drive in it to be somewhere specific, by some time determined.
- I don’t “move at the pace of guidance” and I do.
- I have moments and hours of doubt and uncertainty.
- I have faced anxiety and trepidation to take action towards realizing some very big and long cherished dreams.
- Commitment is a choice. Love is a choice. Kindness is a choice. I sometimes, and sometimes often, choose the opposite.
- Time “to be” helps smooth and soothe a marriage.
- I am drawing people into my life and nurturing relationships that support, affirm, cherish and challenge me to be and bring my best, and who love me when I flounder.
- The women in my life – my family, friends, teachers and colleagues – are among my wisest and most necessary mentors.
- I experience synchronistic seconds when I know something bigger is guiding me.
- I have gumption and discipline and withitness (thank you, Dave!)
- Enough routine and regular practice creates a container that gives me rest and sanctuary.
- I worry when I’m bored, or need a drama fix.
- I feel overwhelmed with too much – space, time, joy, choice, possibility – and thwart my own best self.
- Blogging doesn’t come easy and when I compare my efforts to those of others, I always lose sight of why I’m doing this: to learn about me.
- There are phenomenal bloggers out there who provoke and inspire me to think deeply and challenge my assumptions.
- Being actively engaged in my community is a “next act.”
- To attend, allow and appreciate are wise orientations to life.
Hmmm…strong back, open heart…flexible, vulnerable…alive and well.