A Big, Long, Pause

It’s been over four months since my last post.  Midway through chronicling our springtime trip to China, I had yet to write about Xi’an and its Terra Cotta Warriors, and Beijing with its Imperial Palace and Gardens, Olympic stadiums, hutongs, shopping, and finally, good food.  And it’s not going to happen.  We’ve moved from one to the other “A” month, through a prolonged winter, the infamous southern spring floods, to a now, nearly over summer.  Too much water under the bridge.  And the leaves are turning to other things.

Truth be told, I haven’t had the energy or inclination to put words together, to sort through photos, to remember when.  In the last days of April, I suddenly was struck with Bells Palsy.  Possibly viral, most definitely depletion, the medical profession really is at a loss as to what causes this one-sided facial paralysis.  It stopped me cold.  Cleared my calendar of all commitments. Slept away May, and most of June, in between acupuncture, chiropractic and medical appointments.  Cracked open my life. 

Now what?  I don’t know.  My face looks “kinda sorta” normal.  My eye, an accurate and instant bell weather of stress, fatigue, and vulnerability.  My smile, still a bit crooked.  When my head and face itches, and my eye twitches, this is a good thing – the sign of nerve regeneration.  Ever the optimist, I’d been hoping for the biblical 40-day miracle recovery.  When that came and went, my Chinese acupuncturist suggested the sacred Buddhist 108 days.  That, too, has just passed.  And while those who see me intermittently, claim marked improvement, I, who see my face every day, wonder how long it’s going to take for a full recovery.

As long as is needed. 

In the meantime, I trust there are blessings I’ve yet to realize.  I accept the invitation to dive in ever deeper and darker.  I sense shifting within and without.  I know there is much I don’t know.  I am grateful for the time to rest and reflect.  For the love of family and friends.  For the miracles that remind me something bigger, wiser, and compassionately is mysteriously at play, always.

In the meantime, I appreciate that after so big and long a pause, some of you still come and visit.  Thank you.  I’ve known for a while that my online presence is due for a change.  Again, I’m not sure to what, or when.  I’ve got the upgrades to transfer to a new blog.  I’ll let you know when I’m ready to launch. 

In the meantime, be well.  Me too.  Love…

About Katharine Weinmann

living and leading with courage, clarity, compassion and creativity
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9 Responses to A Big, Long, Pause

  1. Pingback: Winter’s Pause | Katharine Weinmann

  2. Terri Blair Maracle says:

    This quote reminded me of you…”We can not see our reflection in running water, it is only in still water that we can see” Taoist quote…
    Maybe the universe is forcing you to slow down so that you can reflect in ‘still water’.
    Still thinking of you and sending love your way.

    • Yes, absolutely, Terri. About a month ago I posted the following quote on my FB page. When I saw this on yours, I felt a resonance. Similar echo, from a similar source:
      “Do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear?
      Can you remain unmoving until the right action arises by itself?” — Lao Tzu
      Thank you for your thoughts and love.

  3. georgia bell says:

    And a big, long exhale. Glad to hear of progress, acceptance, hope and thoughfulness. A mountain retreat in the fall possible? Blessings, Georgia

    _____

  4. Terri Blair Maracle says:

    Sending love and healing energy your way and maybe ….just maybe, when you are feeling better (and I know you will), you could post maybe just one photo of the Beijing Imperial Palace 🙂
    Take care my friend, this too shall pass….just another unexpected adventure on the amusement park of life.

    Terri

  5. Cynthia Smith says:

    Lovely to visit with you in late June Katharine. So nice to hear your ‘voice’ again. I’ve missed you. Sending you love and energy on your continued journey. Keep in touch. Namaste. Cynthia

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